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10 sweet suggestions for Android's next names
The latest and greatest version of Android, “Ice Cream Sandwich”, is coming before the end of the year. It’s easy to snigger at the tasty name, but it promises to be packed with all sorts of ultra-smart features, from home automation to laptop support. But what exactly does the name mean?
Google has a long history of dessert-based updates to its smartphone software, starting with “Cupcake” and moving all the way through the alphabet to “Gingerbread” and “Honeycomb”.
So what’s next after Ice Cream Sandwich? Google’s not saying, but we think we’ve got a good idea: join us as we trial some lip-smacking Android suggestions.
Android 2.2 boasted a very Americanised codename, “Froyo”. That’s Frozen Yoghurt to the uninitiated, and we wouldn’t be surprised if Google went with another for the Ice Cream Sandwich sequel: Jello is an American staple, and just think of the possibilities for a wibbly-wobbly Android logo!
Must have feature: Improved accelerometer support, for extra wobble and bounce.
2. Kendal mint cake
Sweet treats beginning with K are surprisingly scarce, so Google’s going to have a tough task choosing one. Might we suggest this, Great Britain’s finest Cumbrian peppermint delicacy? We can’t think of anything else beginning with K that has sugar inside, so Google, if you’re struggling, allow us to help out.
Must have feature: Voice control adds support for northern accents
3. Lemon meringue pie
With Ice Cream Sandwich, Google has shown a tongue-in-cheek fondness for mealy codenames with almost as many syllables as features. We wouldn’t be surprised if it used the letter L as the opportunity to do the same again.
Must have feature: Built-in photographic filters: retro-style lemon-hued photos incoming!
Everyone loves a muffin, and we imagine it’ll be the inspiration for a future Android update from Google. The company famously erects an enormous statue of each dessert-based update in the grounds of its California HQ – the question is, will it blueberry or choc-chip?
Must have feature: A new muffin top app uses your Android phone’s camera to tell you when you’ve been putting weight on.
The ice cream sandwich may be a thoroughly modern invention, but nutty nougat can be traced all the way back to the Romans. And if anyone knows how to build an empire these days, it’s Google.
Must have feature: Built-in pronunciation guide, to avoid the faux pas of pronouncing nougat as nugget.
Google hasn’t yet used an Android update name to endorse a specific brand, but its ‘O’ stage could see the company tie up with another all-American firm: Oreo.
Must have feature: Support for twistable phones, which separate into two pieces without voiding the warranty.
7. Peanut Butter Jelly Sandwich
Another sweet-toothed take on the good ol’ sarnie: if this doesn’t happen, we’ll actually eat one of these surreal concoctions.
Must have feature: The ability to put two perfectly good apps together and ruin them. Did we say apps? We meant ingredients.
8. Quaker Oats
By the time they get to the letter Q, Google’s naming team will be struggling. A quick bowl of Quaker Oats, sprinkled with sugar, will kick their brains into high gear and make them realise porridge isn’t only good for breakfast!
Must have feature: Vastly improved alarm clock, which chirrups as it detects sunrise.
9. Raspberry beret
Making a pun on a song by Prince is hardly any less absurd than “Ice Cream Sandwich”. And if we’re honest, it actually sounds like quite a tasty combination. Make it happen, Google.
Must have feature: Google Maps automatically picks out nearby second-hand stores for you.
By this point, Android is now the predominate operating system in the world, and Google can afford to sit on its laurels. The soufflé update adds fluffy, fun features but nothing of any real substance.
Must have feature: On a cold day, your phone can exhale hot air to warm up your frozen fingers.