Cowboys-aliens-face-off Cowboys & Aliens: it's the ultimate face-off, and it's coming to cinemas this month. It's quite the prospect: man's bravest, boldest specimens, versus the nastiest the rest of the universe has to offer. But who would win? We’ve put the script to one side, and weighed up what each side is packing in their arsenals.


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Weapons

Cowboys: The ranchers might only have access to rifles and revolvers as side-arms, but they're dead-eyes who can shoot a man free from the noose from a hundred yards. At least, The Man With No Name could anyway. And they're playing on home turf here. How will aliens judge wind speed and gravity's effects if they’re used to battling in outer space?

Aliens: Of course, the aliens are packing heat. Why fight fire with fire when you could just melt fire with your particle disassembling gun instead? Job's a good' un, though you'd have to find your enemy first, and on foreign soil that could be the hardest part – and they might just find you first.

Armour

Cowboys: A chequered shirt and jeans might not provide much protection against alien technology, but at least they'll be riding in something comfortable and able to move quickly – important against an enemy with heavy weapons.

Aliens: While any race that's figured out this whole light-speed travel lark is likely equipped with impenetrable armour, there may still be a weak spot. It's unlikely that aliens would be able to breathe in our atmosphere: with sharp shooting skills, cowboys could take out their breathing apparatus from a distance. Provided invisibility cloaks aren't in the mix.

Rides

Cowboys: Trusty steeds may not match alien hovercraft for pace, but they know the land inside out, and crucially, where the edges of cliffs are. Aliens, be warned before you career over that unknown brow of a hill.

Aliens: Well they made it as far as Earth, didn't they? Expect them to come rolling in on vehicles sans wheels, that can move silently and at speed. But unless they've got a satnav – and we're pretty sure that wasn't a thing in the nineteenth century – they'll still need to find out where to hunt those pesky cowpokes.
Fighters

Cowboys: With aliens invading, you can expect outlaws and gunslinging sheriffs to put aside their differences. Violent men like Billy the Kid and Pat Garrett would quickly team up to turf the aliens out of the West. Expect them to show no fear – or mercy.

Aliens: Who knows what battles alien warriors have seen, or what worlds they've conquered? One thing's for sure though: to make the distance to Earth, they'll likely have to go into stasis for many years as their ship chugs across the galaxy. Could they be a bit woozy on arrival? Cowboys will need to hope so, to give them an edge.

Charisma

Cowboys: Clint Eastwood. John Wayne. Slow drawl. Fast draw. 'Nuff said.

Aliens: Unless the aliens are simply planning on melting everyone, they'll need to win the hearts and minds of Earth’s people. That could be a struggle, especially if you speak a foreign tongue, have several sets of jaws inside one another, and spit acid. Their leader would have to be cooler than Zaphod Beeblebrox to win over the frontier folk.

Winner Like this? Then try these:

Tie: The aliens might have superior tech, but the cowboys could still put up a fight: they know the land, and they know how to shoot. Find out who wins for sure when the film is released on 17 August.

All excited about Cowboys & Aliens? Get two complimentary tickets to see the film when you buy a Sony Ericsson Xperia Arc or Neo. For more info visit www.O2.co.uk/cowboysandaliens.

Image via Emilio Labrador

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